| They began to pop up like flower buds in the midst of spring.
One by one, they peeked out over the chairs--leaving subtlety at the door.
"Mr. David!"
"Uncle David!"
"You hungry today?!"
He graciously smiled and nodded with an undeniable sprinkling of awkward.
"Starving!" He said. He smiled.
They smiled. "Boys night out?!" They smiled.
David looked towards his sons.
"Boys night out."
They continued smiling.
"Boys night out!"
He stopped smiling.
"Mhm...my wife's in Chicago."
They, smiling, backed away into their dark corners leaving him and us with our deep-fried noodles.
| comments: Leave a comment   |
| Hundreds of Hours 'Til Fluffy : Part Four, RussGlass Mountain
Oh sure. Russ and I are driving down to Georgia.
"But Jerry! Everyone has road trips!"
Shut up. Shut. UP! ...We're going as cowboys.
We going as cowboys.
| | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Dance Hall Crashers - Flyin' | | Time: | 08:04 pm |
|
| Hundreds of Hours 'Til Fluffy : Part Three, You Cruise, You Lose
I'm getting horrifically old. Not in the sense that my life is almost over, but in the sense that my childhood has all but vanished.
I'm not exactly in a mid-mid-life crisis, I just feel sad that I can no longer indulge in the luxuries of the underage life.
Bills, apartments, bad independent music...I feel like life is kicking me in the balls.
In any case, this is basically as old as I want to get. So I've decided how I'm going to spend my life as an elderly gentleman.
I have decided to become a cruisefellow. I'm going to become sea-based. From age 65 onward, I will continue my life hopping from cruise ship to cruise ship. I really don't mind the route of these cruise ships, I just know I'll be on them.
Why?
The luxury of it all! The buffets, the bad comedians, the single foxy elderly bitches. Of course, the bills will add up, but I'll be able to easily pull the "oh my! I must have left my ticket at home!" No one doubts the elderly.
No one.
| | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Dance Hall Crashers - Lost Again | | Time: | 01:10 am |
|
| Hundreds of Hours 'Til Fluffy : Part Two, Bean There...Done That
We may have whipped out the Sum 41 CD tonight.
We may have enjoyed it. Just a little bit.
Question: Is the idea of five guys eating Mexican food on the back of a car weird? To the average passerby, I mean. Especially when all five guys are looking at you...with their hands covered in hot sauce and beans. Oh, it was just me with hot sauce covering my hands? That's intelligent design.
I love Taco Bell, but gosh darn it, ten items of food should cost a lot more than $16.21
Call me old fashioned, but I want to know I worked for my food. I shouldn't have several dollars of change left from thirty burritos. While paying with a twenty dollar bill. All those beans slaughtered for nothing...
| | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | I'm-a clipping my nails. | | Time: | 12:23 am |
|
| Hundreds of Hours 'Til Fluffy : Part One, Internet MAAADNESS!
Livejournal dot com?
HARK!
Liesjournal suits this infernal website more appropriately!
I will renegade against the other users with a force that matches a hurricane.
OR Typhoon
I have personally decided to dis-create the internet.
Not too sure how I'm gonna do it yet. Maybe microwaves.
It's gonna start with this website. Mark my word. Mark my paragraph.
Stay classy.
-Jerry
p.s. I'm starting a cake company called "K K Cakes!"
p.p.s. They only make cheesecake. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Head Automatica - Solid Gold Telephone | | Time: | 10:47 pm |
|
| The title of my five page long Philosophy paper on Danielle Crittenden's book, What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us
On Love and The Modern Woman and/or The Sexy Twilight Zone | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Oh man, so weird story.
I saw Planet Of The Apes today.
On the History Channel!?
YOU MANIACS!
YOU BLEW IT ALL UP!!!!!!!
DAMN YOU!
DAAAAAMN YOOOOU!!!!
| | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Gwen Stefani - Danger Zone | | Time: | 06:07 pm |
|
| In general terms,
today I ate a meat sandwich with a side of meat.
| | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Suburban Legends - High Fives | | Time: | 07:38 pm |
|
| If there's something I can't stay away from...
IT'S SHITTY RADIO-ROCK BAND NAMES!!!!
Here are a few I've perfected:
1. Pinchpoint
2. Breakpoint
3. Dewpoint
4. Reflux
5. Hardtimes
6. Stronghead
7. Headstrong
8. Toughlife
9. Deter
10. Runback
11. Fender
12. Trendset
13. P.O.V.
14. Turnback
15. Downside
16. Upside
17. Timelapse
18. Upcurrent
19. Downstream
20. Brainfreeze
Nickelback still really sucks. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| Hyperterminaldipedalascentationphobia.
(n): The intensely crippling fear of walking uphill.
| | comments: Leave a comment |
| I just suffered one of the biggest shocks of my life.
NOT from watching Mel Gibson's newest movie.
But from watching a porn and thinking one of the people was me.
I was so sure.
Until I found it wasn't
Holy shit my heart is eating itself. He looked just like me...he really did. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| My niece just gave me a bunch of bananas!
BAAAAAAAAAABIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIES!
| | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Ho yeah, couldn't cut it as a poor man stealin' | | Subject: | Dear SUCK | | Time: | 03:28 pm |
|
| Dear Nickelback,
Let's go back to the time of pre-school, when our lives were so much simpler.
We said what were on our minds, and responded accordingly. Remember how happier we were, Nickelback, remember?
Well...with that said, I'd like to say a statement in the purest form. This is exactly what's on my mind, and I will use the pre-school mindset to deliver my message:
FUCKING. QUIT. IT.
Just quit it. Quit making songs, quit making albums, quit writing, quit singing, quit it.
Today I looked at the Top 10 albums of the country, and within minutes, the list doubled as a top 10 list to end my life. You guys were number four...and I shit blood.
Would it not be easier to just put yourselves out of misery? Drink some cyanide jell-o, write a shitty song about suicide and act it out--whatever you want! Just end it.
I don't know who it was on planet Moron that decided buying your album was ok. Was it Jen? It was Britney, wasn't it. It doesn't matter who it was, it's doing damage at an alarming rate. Kids are now starting to think that it's alright to take a hit song, change four lyrics, and put it out in the world again as a new hit single.
Look, what I'm trying to say is: You guys are killing the world faster than Ebola. There is no cure for Ebola, but there is a cure for Nickelback. Quitting, the fuck, IT.
This is not a threat, nor a warning, it's an official doctrine. I've done this before and practically knocked down Scott Stapp on the same level of Child-molesters. Do you want that, Nickelback? Do you?
All I'm asking *ahem* telling you to do is sell your guitars, cut your hair, and move back to Canada. And then end your lives.
That is so little to ask for.
Trust me, you guys will thank me once the world starts picking up again.
I'm personally excited to live in an America where a girl won't be able to whistle one tune and twelve Nickelback songs at the same time.
Think of it as a global deed, Nickelback. I would say you're reversing the terrible conditions you've created, but frankly, I think global warming has a better effect on the world than you guys.
Take my advice and QUIT IT.
| | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Lady Sovereign - 9 To 5 | | Time: | 09:26 pm |
|
| Sucks.
I just don't know what's funnier.
To start a sentence with:
"Holy shit, my arm hurts so badly from tennis. Wii tennis."
or
"I'm getting surgery on my scrotum because..."
I heard one of those statements in a TV show. If you guess which one, you get FREE genital surgery! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Talking Heads - Uh Oh, Love Comes To Town | | Time: | 11:19 pm |
|
| And today marks the sixth time I've been in a shower for a movie.
I will not fail to mention, four of those times have been shirtless.
| | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| I've...never felt this way before.
New found love...never felt THIS real.
I love you...
Wii
| | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button.
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.
7. Don't use Phil's iPod...cause it's depressed.
Opening Credits:
Career Opportunities - The Clash
Waking Up:
Juicebox - The Strokes (So INTENSE! For the intense man.)
First Day At School:
Too Nice To Talk To - The English Beat
Falling In Love:
Satan In My Mirror - Cake (Smiling!)
Breaking Up:
Redundant - Greenday (Lame. Go dumping!)
Prom:
One Shot, Two Shots - The Format (How I WISHED for "Prom" by MSI.)
Life's OK:
Uh-Oh, Love Comes To Town - The Talking Heads
Driving:
Instant Hit - The Slits (Yeah, if I was driving an angry woman.)
Flashback:
Mysteries - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Getting Back Together:
The Haunting - The Misfits (Hehehehe)
Wedding:
Zombies vs. Robots - The Flaming Tsunamis (YES! YESSSSSS!)
Birth of Child:
No Other One - Weezer (Sentimental often?!)
Final Battle:
Goodnight Moon - Kill Bill Vol. 2 Soundtrack (Fuck yes, sexy battle.)
Death Scene:
Devil Girl - Tiger Army (Nothing like a rockabilly death?)
Funeral Song:
Birdwatching and Vice Versa - The Flaming Tsunamis (Skaneral...)
End Credits:
The Fallen - Franz Ferdinand (Where were you guys during Funeral Song?!) | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Arrogant Sons of Bitches - Dissapointment at Taco Bell | | Subject: | Coach is a dick! | | Time: | 03:55 pm |
|
| Luckily, I had a completely normal dream last night!
I was freshly discharged from the Army and ready to go home.
Suddenly, the Government decides to put me in jail instead of Saddam Hussein.
Well...not exactly...
They decided to put me in jail AS Saddam Hussein.
Next thing I know, I'm getting hair implanted on my face.
And I'm pissed. Iraqi pissed!
Then I woke up.
I'm starting to wonder if there is some kind of underlying themes to the weird dreams I've been having.
Furthermore, I really don't know why I've been having such a large amount of weird dreams.
Oh, but today I saw a very sad looking jock-type boy in a uniform.
And I really wanted to say to him:
"Coach says you've been slipping..."
But it probably would have broken his spirits.
By spirits, I mean face.
My face.
He would've beaten me up.
| | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | The Flaming Tsunamis - Bird-Watching and Vice Versa | | Time: | 08:16 pm |
|
| Dear everyone,
Hey, remember that time a few years ago when everyone decided to become massive tools and hate me for a week?
Not that I didn't have fun with all that toolishness, but I finally figured out what could have diverted all that nonsense!
A chocolate vest.
Because you cannot hate a friend if he has chocolate on his torso. | | comments: 8 comments or Leave a comment |
| |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
jerry_reigns's journal![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/marcus/beheadedboy/132.gif){kind=small}
grateful